So I'm in a mood today. I try not to let little things bother me. OK who am I kidding? Little things bother me all the time, but I try not to let them get to me as much. Most people who know me , know the thing that bothers me the most is when people judge my Joey, make comments about him that are not very nice, stare at him, exclude him etc. I know no one else can possibly love and accept him like I do. I know he is a very challenging little boy. He's very LOUD and I should understand why people act the way they do, considering I , myself , look forward to breaks, count down minutes til his workers arrive and yes am really really looking forward to him starting his day camp. I love all my friends but it's true I have a little bit more respect and appreciation for those that treat not just Joey but all of my kids with that little extra bit of patience.
Something that really ticked me off this past week was a comment made from a professional. She was dropping off a new foster child at our home. She and another worker did not look comfortable when they saw Joe. I could tell and even sense an inner cringe. Joey was being awesome, but when we had interruped his regular schedule so I could greet this precious child and her workers. He had a small fit. Gino took him downstairs, but he came back up to get his balloon. He was by the stairs as were the little ones and I said.."oh be careful" Joey retrieved his balloon and all was well. Yes, he did have a small fit. He did yell and jump up and down. Something I perhaps overlooked because it happens so often. Several times a day in fact, so to me it was no big deal. To the workers, well you would have thought he had killed someone. One worker looked at the little one she was dropping off and said to me, " Is she safe here, if we leave her?" Oh . My. God!!! REALLY? First of all the process of when a child comes in to care is not that simple. They do an intake over the phone. More importantly the person placing the child knows our homes. They know which children are in our homes and they do a very long questionnaire with us that asks all of these questions and more. So really it wasn't her place to ask, however, if she was concerned I understand. BUT....she was only referring to Joey. I bit my tongue and instead of telling her to get herself educated, I explained abit about Joe to her. I told her he was off schedule and very excited that people were over. I told her he is a very LOUD boy at times, very active but that he would never intentionally hurt a little one. Maybe I was over sensitive, maybe it was just the last straw. Thing is, Joey is ...never mind..I'll just leave it at that.
..
Update: Our newest house guest is doing fantastic. She's only been here since Thursday. She gets along well with everyone even *gasp ...Joe. She is not afraid of him nor has she been hurt. She is in her glory. Loving all of the new experiences we have be able to give her so far.
So there!
Something that really ticked me off this past week was a comment made from a professional. She was dropping off a new foster child at our home. She and another worker did not look comfortable when they saw Joe. I could tell and even sense an inner cringe. Joey was being awesome, but when we had interruped his regular schedule so I could greet this precious child and her workers. He had a small fit. Gino took him downstairs, but he came back up to get his balloon. He was by the stairs as were the little ones and I said.."oh be careful" Joey retrieved his balloon and all was well. Yes, he did have a small fit. He did yell and jump up and down. Something I perhaps overlooked because it happens so often. Several times a day in fact, so to me it was no big deal. To the workers, well you would have thought he had killed someone. One worker looked at the little one she was dropping off and said to me, " Is she safe here, if we leave her?" Oh . My. God!!! REALLY? First of all the process of when a child comes in to care is not that simple. They do an intake over the phone. More importantly the person placing the child knows our homes. They know which children are in our homes and they do a very long questionnaire with us that asks all of these questions and more. So really it wasn't her place to ask, however, if she was concerned I understand. BUT....she was only referring to Joey. I bit my tongue and instead of telling her to get herself educated, I explained abit about Joe to her. I told her he was off schedule and very excited that people were over. I told her he is a very LOUD boy at times, very active but that he would never intentionally hurt a little one. Maybe I was over sensitive, maybe it was just the last straw. Thing is, Joey is ...never mind..I'll just leave it at that.
..
Update: Our newest house guest is doing fantastic. She's only been here since Thursday. She gets along well with everyone even *gasp ...Joe. She is not afraid of him nor has she been hurt. She is in her glory. Loving all of the new experiences we have be able to give her so far.
So there!
* I'm including some of my favourite tender moments that capture my son in his true and gentle persona*
7 comments:
My nephew is autistic and my SiL experiences many of the same things with him. So, I can see where you are coming from. Any mother just wants their child to be loved and accepted and to do well in the world. It is difficult when others can't see that.
Oh gosh, I can imagine the horror! And that from a professional. You are truly an exceptional mom.
I agree with cat. I cannot imagine. But, I also respect your patience. I don't know that I would be able to be that patient with people. Your pictures are great!
Thanks for stopping by my blog!
As if they would actually say that! It makes me mad just reading it! I mean, even beyond any problems that he might have, kids freak out. Any kid could have had a temper tantrum and it was horrible of her to judge. You are a wonderful Mom and all your kids are so lucky to have you! Adorable pictures too! You should send them to that worker! LOL.
I'm so sorry. I have been through many homestudy experiences as an adoptive mom, and I know what you've gone through in order to foster is much more intensive. I think you should tell your social worker what happened so they know about these people that brought your new foster child and educate them.
You are so inspiring to me, and such a blessing to all those children. What a gentle boy you have...so tender. :)
Stay strong and positive. You're doing the Divine.
I would be in such a mood too!! Education it the key...it seems that people are so quick to judge and then they don't even know what they are talking about. Good for you for keeping your cool. You know what is right and what is good for the new child.
A "small fit"....OY! Vey!! You should see my 12 year old daughter when she has to go to bed early because of a fresh mouth! NOW! That's a....shall I be nice and say "Fit!"
Thank you so much for you last comment...You made me cry :-)... XO
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